woensdag 11 juli 2012

The power of 'I Am' (english)

I was just thinking about those words: 'I Am', pretty powerfull in all their symplicity.
The first time I encountered these words (outside normal use) was when I did my Shamballa Multi Dimensional Healing course; my door to a remembering all that the the world is but we forget when we come to Earth.
There are many doors that you can open up, this is just one way, and I love it, because it was my door.
This is where I first heared the phrase 'I am that I am' and frankly, I was kinda puzzeled when I did...I thought it was somekind of cosmic riddle ..and ofcourse I felt like I was the only one in the room too unsophisticated to get it...so I nodded my head andhopefully  looked appropriatly serious...I guess...
But I also felt there was real power in the words too...it felt good to say out loud...and slow and deliberate.

After the first few days of the course, in meditation, I started to see myself as this figure, standing on a cliff, high above the sea, - something like the cliffs at Normany or Dover - I feel that I am standing there alone on a lush and green field. I am wearing somekind of cloack and I have a staff in my hands. A bit like I later saw the great wizzard Gandalf do in Lord of the Rings, I lunged the staff to the ground - I think the earth trembled - at the last 'am' of the 'I am that I am' and that felt so empowering!
After that first 'meeting' with this 'me'...I was astonished...and embareced to say out loud that I saw myself as such a powerfull being.
I'm sure that I tried to tone it down when we told eachother our experiences...but inside of me, I was is awe...

A strange detail was the staff, I knéw that it had an important symbol on top of it, but I could not remember, or it was not shown...or I just could not see...
It would take many meditations and many courses to finally be shown the whole staff, and it was a caduceus...though at that time I didn't know what it was...I loved it for its wings and its serpent.  (for my starsigns are scorpio and snake) All that I read about it later was never entirely right or fitting for me. I can't really describe what it means to me...and maby its not that important either.

The phrase "I am that I am' kept popping up, everywhere I found teachings and teachers, and it kept growing in strenght. Say it out loud...can you feel how it seems to encompass all there is?
How it is really all you would ever want to say? Need to say? How it says all you ever have to feel or know?
And how it makes you know in ever fiber of you, that you are enough? That you are all that you ARE?!
That it is absolutely impossible to be anything else but enough, always just right and perfect?
Cause every flaw, every failure, every weakness  that you think you have or do or are, is you...and that nothing cán be wrong about that, because it is just what and who you are!

Still with me?
We are so used to judging, specially ourselves...the ever present 'I am not good enough'
Well, how can you be not good enough if all that you are is what you are? There is no duality in that!
The duality starts when you go outside what you are, and start to compare and judge. And comparing and judging is never done from the inside!
When we are born. we do not come in judging and comparing...thats learned behavior. Our nature is not judgemental, our nature is caring and loving and openhearted ..or whatever words you want to use to describe that what cannot really be described...only felt.
Word have this great handicap of always having an opposite, there is always another side, but when you truely go to your core, you knów there is only IS-ness. To describe your IS-ness ..to make it as true and light as possible...the ultimate attempt to rid words of all duality and opposites, will always bring you back to;

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