As they say..standing water gets smelly after a while, thats exactly how I felt the past weeks. Nothing seemed to move..nothing seemed to develope. Only this letting go of that what we are not...and frankly, I was soo fed up with that! I'm not cut out for being in a lull...voids bore the heck out of me!
And when I get bored..I get myself in trouble.
Sooo..I so welcome this active sun and all the hoopla it brings :-)
Glad that there is a new sunspot emerging, so we know that this moving forward is gonna go on for a while..
As some of you know, I was at the docters this week to have my blood checked, cause I didn't get why I was sooo tired.
I know that the energies were low and I know that it was like walking through a thick layer of muck, and I know that 'this too shall pass' etcetera...but as often is the case...you can knów whats going on, but not translate that for myself.
I was not able to look at it form a distance and to have the faith that I tell everybody to have.
Hm..how ironic huh?
But...all the consciousness 'work' I have been doing does pay off, because my stuckness does not last as long as it could have, and I do know the right people to talk to..to help me get moving again. Phew!!
Getting unstuck always reveals so clearly what the obstacle of the stuckness was.
For me it was (again) the weird circle of; starting up, getting moving and sabotaging myself.
I'm sure this resonates with a lot of you.
See, I was always told that I could be and do anything I wanted....the world of all possibilities was at my feet. I guess its a whole generation that grew up on that notion.
This turned out not to be quite true though..right?
I wanted to be a model....sorry, not tall enough, not special enough.
I wanted to be an actrice...sure..you and a million others.
So..a pilot..a psychologist, a director, a bartender...a....sigh..whatever..
So..I kept doing odd jobs..thinking I would eventually find my niche.
And...I did...I found a lot of niches, but that gets you nowhere if you are in this circle of selfsabotage!
Whenever I do something I like and could lead somewhere, this voice starts to talk to me:
''you are not special enough, there's a million others, not enough education, wrong education...quit before you make a fool of yourself, stop!''
And:
''you are not enough, you don't have enough (money) you will never be enough and you will never have enough, so give up!''
YUCK!!!
Then yesterday I decided after talking with my husband: ENOUGH!
I have had enough of this, I am enough, I have enough, I claim enoughness!!!
Then, I opened up my computer and there was a message from Dannion Brinkley (whom I admire and like a lot..google him!) ...he reacted on a facebook post of mine..which was in Dutch, so it made NO sense whatsoever for him to react to it...and it said:
'' I do not know what you are saying... but you go girl...''
It felt like I was struck by lightning - which in the case of Dannion Brinkley is really very funny since he died twice from being struck by lightning ..
Because that says it all where my writing is concerned.
I should not even care if someone understands me..I should just GO for it.
Thank you Dannion.
Thank you universe for sending me that angel at just the right time.
(and this morning I received a message from another facebooker saying '' Go girl' - thank you Bo - so the universe is being quite clear here!)
So:
''GO me!!''
:-)
Inge
ps: Bloodtest came back just fine!
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