woensdag 11 december 2013

The Bottom of the Barrel (English)

So, the title of this blog is I am Inge Astrid, - 'cause, thats my name - yet I only make time to blog when there is a lot of solar activity.
But I am so much more then just a solarweathergirl., so let me share me some more.
So...what am I today?
Well, I am energy, (like all is energy) and the past weeks, and especially the past week I have been confused energy.
(and since the body likes order, not confusion..I am ill)

Being ill gives one a alot of time to feel into stuff, and sharing experiences with friends on and offline, to soon realise, this confusion is worldwide, causing havoc in bodies worldwide.
We'll just let that be for now..bodies are slow and are just followers of our creation.
So..I am creation.
Then why the heck would we create confusion? And why can we not just change that creation? Turn it around, create something new, shift!
Well...we can! We are! Its just, we have grown to be bloody great at shifting what needs to shift. We know how, and its easy, often even effortlessly...so why not now?
Why is it so hard to shift this time? There must be something different about the stuff we need to shift..and feeling into that, I got this picture of being at the bottom of the barrel.
This barrel used to be full. Lets say, it was full of shit...barrelshit, or BS.
Yes, you could also say bullshit, or beliefsystems.
We have scooped out what we could scoop out...the we shovelled and dug, out with it all..clearing and cleaning!
And now..we have come to the last of it...at the bottom of the barrel...at the sticky stuff...the stuff that sticks to the scoop, to the shovel, to your hands and to your emotions.
Its the stuff we were able to push away till now, the stuff that was hard to look at and deal with and shirft..the stuff we parked to deal with later..
Guess what..its later now, and we now look at that hard-to-look-at stuff.

Loneliness, fear of abandonement, fear of being judged, for me personally its the fear of not being good enough.
Its the big big onion, that always seems to have another layer.
It won't shift , its like stiky tape sticking to your fingers no matter how hard you try to get rid of it.

So, maby we should surrender for now. Detatch from the frustration and the pain, take a break, have a holliday in your head (music does it for me) , eat good food, sleep a lot...breathe deep and stay calm.
Maby we should just talk to eachother and comfort one another, for we know...this too shall pass. (it will!)
Maby for now we should just be...

I am Inge Astrid.


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